Official Dr. Phil Thread (talk about relationships, etc.)

[tomato]

OK, here goes (drum rolls) ... the "Official Dr. Phil" Thread :biggrin::laugh:.

I can see the ultimate car geeks rolling their eyes and thinking "OK, now we've seen it all!!!" :rolleyes::rolleyes:" but hear me out here.

clearly we see all kinds of topics discussed in this section (even relationships, advice on dating), so why not an official thread for relationships ?

Let's see how it goes.

(keep it clean and somewhat PG , though, ok, guys ?! :wink::biggrin:)

I'll kick it off in the second post.

[tomato]

Last week, I posted a question in Mike's Dear KCALB thread, because I frankly don't understand why my ex-bf keeps calling me to ask me to help him with his online dating profile. I'm not kidding!

He says he's done me a favor before (by giving me advice on stuff he's good at professionally) so I should return the favor and help him out with my "female perspective." :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Again, I'm not kidding.

Here is the original post from the Dear KCalb thread.
Dear KCalb:

Do you think it's appropriate for my ex to call me to ask me to help him fine-tune his online dating profile? (yes, I'm serious, and yes, he's serious, too.)

He thinks it's a perfectly fine favor to ask and since he did me a favor recently, and I should return the favor.

Now, I have no problem returning the favor but this one, hmmmm... IDK not sure it's such a great idea.

What does the great KCALB thinks about that ? (when he's done laughing, of course)


Wow, first of all he has got a big set to even ask. Friends or not, after a relationship has ended, one needs to have a little more tact than that. I don't know the particulars of the relationship (married or just ex bf) or who was at fault to end the relationship. Again, WOW! If he doesn't know himself enough to update it, my guess is he was the one parking the beef bus in someone elses terminal if you know what I mean. Seriously, I would tell him go on a journey and find himself. like I said, if he doesn't know himself, he sure as hell won't find a woman. :thumbsup:

I think he's just looking at it "logically" (from his viewpoint) . He believes that since I'm a woman, I might have some valuable insight or something in relationships :iono: The fact that as an ex-gf I may have a problem being neutral in my advice completely escapes him.

I"ve known this guy for a very long time. It's one of these "complicated" relationships. We used to date a long time ago, for a few years, and then we both went on our separate ways. We dated again more recently, possibly a mistake since neither one of us is willing to move where the other one lives, so I kind of broke it off. I don't like long distance relationships. I guess we're sort of friends, because we've known each other for so long, and it's a no-fault break-up, but having dated more recently makes this friendship somewhat awkward.

[KCALB SIRAY]

Vanilla says, "Drop that zero and get with a hero"
http://images-cdn.flycell.com/template/us/images/artist-images/vanilla-ice.jpg

[tomato]

My fault. I shouldn't have mentioned the rear sway bar and the wheels I was looking at, in our last phone call. Now he probably thinks I owe him another one because he gave me his opinion on something. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Is it me or are relationships f'ing complicated anyway?!! :mad:

[KCALB SIRAY]

My fault. I shouldn't have mentioned the rear sway bar and the wheels I was looking at. Now he probably thinks I owe him one because he gave me his opinion on something. :rollingeyes: :rollingeyes:

Is it me or are relationships f'ing complicated anyway?!! :mad:

Not that complicated. Communication was the key factor in the end of my marriage. I had it, she didn't. Simple as that. It's not hard, just takes two

[tomato]

hmmm.. I find that it's usually more than one thing. You got a lot of little things, and then comes the deal breaker and then ... pooof it's over.

[KCALB SIRAY]

hmmm.. I find that it's usually more than one thing. You got a lot of little things, and then comes the deal breaker and then ... pooof it's over.

I see what you're saying.

[tomato]

They (my parents' generation) say you can (or should?) work on your marriage, but that's until you reach the "dealbreaker" event, I think. Then, it's probably a better idea to start cutting your losses and move on :iono: .02 of course.

[KCALB SIRAY]

agreed.

[Altitude]

Ok. First of all I can't stand Dr. Phil. Now that that's out of the way...

Just tell him you don't feel comfortable doing it and that you're too close to the subject matter to be objective about it.

In my opinion the fact that he's trying to guilt you into it by bringing up things he's done for you in the past is a negative strike against him to start with. Relationships aren't about obligations or keeping score about who's done what for the other. They're about mutual respect and doing things for one another because one wants to do them. No strings attached.

Furthermore if he is so unaware of his own positive and negative traits as to be unable to present himself honestly and openly in a dating profile he's probably not really ready for another relationship.

My personal attitude towards relationships is that it is best when two whole people come together to form a greater whole as opposed to the "you're the half that makes me whole" attitude that so many seem to strive for when looking for a mate. He needs to spend more time getting to know himself better so that he can present a whole person to future partners.

[tomato]

Ok. First of all I can't stand Dr. Phil. Now that that's out of the way...

Just tell him you don't feel comfortable doing it and that you're too close to the subject matter to be objective about it.

In my opinion the fact that he's trying to guilt you into it by bringing up things he's done for you in the past is a negative strike against him to start with. Relationships aren't about obligations or keeping score about who's done what for the other. They're about mutual respect and doing things for one another because one wants to do them. No strings attached.

Furthermore if he is so unaware of his own positive and negative traits as to be unable to present himself honestly and openly in a dating profile he's probably not really ready for another relationship.

My personal attitude towards relationships is that it is best when two whole people come together to form a greater whole as opposed to the "you're the half that makes me whole" attitude that so many seem to strive for when looking for a mate. He needs to spend more time getting to know himself better so that he can present a whole person to future partners.

That is such a great point, it shut me up for a while!! :clap: :smile:

You know I started this post as kind of a joke (in the KCALB thread) because I can totally see the humor in the situation, but you've just put your finger on what really bothers me about this whole thing.

It's not the profile, I don't even care anymore. It's that I can't stand people who count everything you do for them or they do for you. A relationship with another person isn't a f'ing ATM transaction!!!

PS. Sorry about "dr. phil" couldn't think of anything better ;)

[2+2]

Doctor 2 says...

Like the great Groucho once said "but enough about me, what do you think about me?". Men are like little children that need to have the spotlight on them 24/7. Being in a relationship with a woman gives a man that spotlight and when it's over with the woman he begins to have spotlight withdrawals (or bwankie withdrawals as the case may be). His pretense is to seek your help with his sex resume when really what he's after is some ego support from THE BEST DAMNED THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM! Ahem, excuse the outburst.

I say forget men entirely and go find yourself a nice little filly to settle down with. Ok j/k women are an even bigger pain in the ass, trust me.

Dr 2

[tomato]

Doctor 2 says...

Ok j/k women are an even bigger pain in the ass, trust me.

Dr 2

I believe you!!! :headbang:

[tomato]

pfewww... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-confused009.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

KCALB, you ought to mail me a http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-eatdrink009.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) ;)

[Vitz RangaaaH]

My reading comprehensive skills must be off. I don't understand?

[tomato]

I started the thread as a joke, following a conversation with KCALB.
Thread took a wrong turn, posts were deleted...
Don't worry, you didn't miss much. :smile:

[yaris-me]

I'll help you. Tell him to put down that he loves shopping. Things in red really gets his attention. He likes Reese Witherspoon. Can't get enough of salty Margaritas. Plans to buy a Porsche.:thumbsup:

[firemachine69]

That about sums it up...



http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii261/funkbutter/graphics/Funny/funny_women_buttons.jpg

[tomato]

:bellyroll::bellyroll::bellyroll:

[DandiDani]

lol

[90tsi]

thats funny but kinda true lol

[DandiDani]

^hi! havent seen you in a while! how are you doing?