Getting Married Tomorrow! Any advice from those who've been married a while?

[Astroman]

Tomorrows the big day! Super excited, everything is falling into place after months of what felt like total mayhem. Were super in love and taking off to Vegas for a week, roadtrip yaris style! :wub:

So I want to hear from those who've been married on what they've done in their marriage to keep things going after all this time. All positive advice is welcome :smile:

And a huge thank you for those of you who helped me raise a little money for our endeavor, it really means a lot. And if anyone sees me along my trip to or in Vegas say hi!

[fnkngrv]

The best that I can give you is that no matter how hard things get to include you having to make the toughest choices for the family that includes risking the marriage to make it through is to make those tough choices. If it is meant to be then it will get better.

Always try to go to sleep at night with a light heart and not one filled with anger or worries about how this or that is causing you grief.

Never forget as the years go on that no matter how well you come to know each other you can't read your spouse's mind so don't expect them to be able to read yours. This is especially crucial as the years go on because you will both change and grow to include growing in different ways. Learn to embrace those differences and realize how they can make the marriage richer with knowledge and experiences.

Lastly, no matter how much you love your spouse and they try to convince you during a drunken night to eat the yellow snow JUST DON"T DO IT!!!

[yarisugi]

don't faint at the altar.

[nemelek]

Put the common welfare of the marriage first. Another words base your decisions on what is best for the marriage. Not what is best for you or best for her.

[WD-40]

June 4 will be 30 years for me .. its not going to be easy .. but it can be fun.
The biggest piece of advice I can offer is to understand that you can't and shouldn't try to change your spouse.. accept them as they are, and you will grow together as a whole.
The best of times are ahead of you, have a great life.

[Astroman]

Thanks everyone! This will be my last post for a couple days, headed out here shortly to get hitched :biggrin:

[CrankyOldMan]

"Yes dear."

[jpmck03]

"Yes dear."

^ That. Best advice ever.

[MadMax]

.. its not going to be easy .. but it can be fun.

In a nutshell...this. :headbang:

[Billiam]

I've been with my wife for 26+ years. Keep the sex-life alive. Dr. Phil is a jackwagon but he says one thing to couples that I actually agree with.

"When the sex-life is good it accounts for 10% of the relationship. When the sex-life is bad is accounts for 90% of the relationship".

It absolutely true. Keep the "spark" going.....be intimate, be sexy, be creative. My wife is sexier now in her 40's than she was in her 20's and I know alot of that is my perception of her because we have such a great marriage. Oh...and the sex is way better than it was 20 years ago. Women get better and better with age! :wink:

My dad used to say "a 20 year old will put a smile on your face, but a 40 year old will make your whole body hurt". :thumbsup:

[tk-421]

JUST DON"T DO IT!!!
This would've been my advice... I guess I'm too late. :biggrin:
Best of luck to you, sir!

[Golddeenoh]

Honesty, it is the best policy and lying to a woman will only get her mad, for she usually knows the truth and if she does not she soon will. there for be honest in everything you do and have no regrets.

Her happiness should be held above all for if she shall be happy, so shall you.

Tell her, tell her you love her every chance you get and some that you don't.

Tell her, she is beautiful no matter how sick or how old, for the beauty that brought you to her isn't just how she appears but who she is.

be strong, it is your endurance through the hard times that will bring your union closest together and prove your commitment beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Be there, Be there for her no matter how little of how you know to be.

Ask her, ask her how she feels, what she is thinking, and for her opinion.

little, those are the important thing, the ones that are seen as little but add up.

never, never stop loving her or thinking of her. for if she is in your heart and mind, you shall always be in hers.

[JumpmanYaris]

It's just a pice of paper, but don't tell her that you might get slapped :biggrin:

[ERA]

really listen to and trust each other. and dont keep the seat up. oh yeah, and aim (even if you really dont feel like it).

[tomato]

My advice is ... don't listen to people's advice too much ;) Seriously, what others went through in life and how they found resolution may or may not be right for you, so don't feel like other people have all the answers because they don't necessarily know any better, they just wing it most of the time.

But since you asked ... IMO, marriage is like everything else: one day at a time.

Just like any relationship, respect, balance between your needs and hers, some compromise (sometimes you give in, sometimes she does) and pick your battles if and when conflicts arise.

Congratulations and best of luck with your new life!

[SailDesign]

Will have been married(to the same long-suffering woman) for 37 years this coming January. Words of advice? Bicker, not argue. NEVER go to bed angry at each other even if YOU have to back down and sort it out in the morning.
And Yes - keep the sex life alive and kicking.
It will have its ups and downs, but it is worth the struggle in the end. We had kids early enough that we were 50 or so when they left home - still young enough to really enjoy it. :redface:

[nookandcrannycar]

Will have been married(to the same long-suffering woman) for 37 years this coming January. Words of advice? Bicker, not argue. NEVER go to bed angry at each other even if YOU have to back down and sort it out in the morning.
And Yes - keep the sex life alive and kicking.
It will have its ups and downs, but it is worth the struggle in the end. We had kids early enough that we were 50 or so when they left home - still young enough to really enjoy it. :redface:

Bicker, not argue.....good advice. I've never been married, but in the long term relationships I've had she and I always bickered, never argued. There is a certain playfulness to bickering. You might laugh while you are bickering.

[TLyttle]

There is sure a lot of very good advice here from the older people. "Yes dear" is very good, and we (after 27 years) never "fight". we sit down and discuss EVERYTHING: finances, kids, all that stuff, there is no "I'm right" B.S. Best advice is "Listen to each other, minus the egos".

We also have date night: just the two of us, our favourite restaurant, a quiet corner, and treat each other as if we were on a date. Works wonders for the relationship, we now can afford to do this once a week...

[sex]

1. Happy wife, happy life.

2. Never your fault; always your problem.

[cali yaris]

^ sex has spoken. :bow:

[tomato]

OK it's time for a joke ...

:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:


A couple whose marriage was going on the rocks sought the advice of a marriage counsellor. The counsellor pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but they were adamant.

"So," said the counsellor, "you know the consequences and you want to part. Remember this. You must divide your property equally."

The wife flared up. "You mean the $4,000 I have saved up? I must give him half? My money?"

"Yes," said the counsellor. "He gets $2,000. You get $2,000."

"What about my furniture? I paid for that."

"Same thing," answered the counsellor. "Your husband gets the bedroom and the living room; you get the dining room and the kitchen."

There was a challenging gleam in the wife's eye. "What about our three children?"

That stumped him. Shrewdly he assayed the situation, then he came up with a Solomonic answer. "Go back and live together until your fourth
child is born. Then you take two children and your husband takes two."

The wife shook her head. "No, I'm sure that wouldn't work out. If I depended on him, I wouldn't have the three I got."

:evil::evil:

[tomato]

here is an article you might like. It's not a joke, it's some advice to newlyweds, from the Huff Post. Take with a grain of salt, of course. :smile:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/patrick-caneday/advice-to-the-young-on-_b_2161104.html?utm_hp_ref=weddings&ir=Weddings&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

[DeathBeard]

always marry your best friend, everything else takes care of itself

[cali yaris]

Easy recipe for marital success.

1. I make the big decisions, she makes the little ones.
2. She decides which are which.

[Thirty-Nine]

Easy recipe for marital success.

1. I make the big decisions, she makes the little ones.
2. She decides which are which.

I've got to remember that one. LOL

[lenzomaru]

All this advice is really good guys, im due to be married in a couple months and we are having some difficult times..and i am getting second taughts, reading u guys comments really put me in a more understanding position

[07stlYaris]

Communication. If you both understand where you came from, you both will know where you're headed.

If your going to pass gas, make sure she's around to evaluate it.

The first line was so cheesy I just had to ruin it.

[cali yaris]

^ LOL. good one.

Cold feet/nervousness/doubts/etc. is NORMAL.
After all, you are going to prison for the REST of YOUR LIFE.

[Fidelio]

my only advice is eat her vagina when she says so otherwise she will be mad and not tell you tell she is mad until the third day. Trust me I know.

[cali yaris]

Or 6 weeks later. Or 6 months later. Good advice.

[yarisugi]

tastes like chicken

[screenprintr]

Remember that most women/girls think with the heart/feelings. We men just don't understand that. We base things on facts.

Hug and Kiss your wife and future kids often.

My wife and I have been married 26 plus years. 24 of those years she's had Lupus. I still love her as if I just met her.

I make sure she has whatever she needs before I go to bed. I can tell when she's in pain by the look on her face, or the way she's moving around.

I massage her back daily to make sure she's able to sleep that night.

She also does the same for me.

When she's in Pain, she's real pushy. I have to remind her of that so she won't drive me over the edge. I'm human too.

Work through your problems together. No one has the right answer.

Treat your wife and future daughters like girls and you'll have a great marriage and life. Treat them any different and sleep with one eye open. Ask Lorraine Bobbet.

[yarisugi]

Hug and Kill your wife and future kids often.
Freudian slip???

[screenprintr]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I really meant, Hug and Kiss your wife and future kids.

[tooter]

Besides the obvious... men and women want to be treated differently in their marriage.

Women want to be cherished.

Men want to be appreciated.

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b90/compost_bin/awww.gif

Greg