Make Love to your Yaris

[Nutzoids]

So this weekend I took the time to really clean my car… I hand washed and waxed it from front to back… Top to bottom… and at some point , I think it was while I was waxing her… a thought came to me…

Hand washing and waxing your car is like making love to it… Start by turning on some music, R&B is always best… then turning the hose on and getting her all wet… then with a soft cloth and some bubbles, you start to gently rub and sometimes gently scratch her from head to toe… gently caressing her every curve… noticing all her imperfections, and all her perfections… you dry her off and start to look over her entire body… just then you pull out the wax… and you don’t miss any spot… you rub and stroke every nook and cranny of her seductive curvy body… being methodical that you have not missed a single spot… and just as you start to sweat from the motion of all those tiny soft, little circles… you let loose a few small grunts and moans… You start to talk to her… “Yeah baby, shine for me” You know she’s into it… she starts to rock back and forth slowly…in tune with your motion… for this moment you and her are one! As you go over her body one last time, to remove the wax you start to get a full glimpse into her soul… and you can see the reflection of clouds in her smile and the bright glow of the sun in her eyes… You take a final step back, and are overwhelmed with the feeling of accomplishment… as she lies there, happy, smiling, satisfied that she knows she will be taken car of… and all you can do is just smile at her beauty…

Ladies… you should hear my voice… It makes this thing I just typed 8 million times better…

Guys… If you don’t look at your car this way… I feel bad for your women!

:evil:

[Chris07LB]

Cant believe I actually read all that. :bellyroll:

[zenodaddy]

Dude... seriously. :barf:

LOL.

[Nutzoids]

Cant believe I actually read all that. :bellyroll:

Dude... seriously. :barf:

What?? :iono:

:evil:

[CASTREX]

You're sick!

[Nutzoids]

You're sick!

I perfer the term CRAZY...

:thanks:

:evil:

[Blenjar]

I didn't read it but the topic itself shocks me..

-- Blen

[Nutzoids]

I didn't read it but the topic itself shocks me..

-- Blen

Good Times... I kinda go for Shock Value a little... Good to know it worked!

:evil:

[ChinoCharles]

So this weekend I took the time to really clean my car… I hand washed and waxed it from front to back… Top to bottom… and at some point , I think it was while I was waxing her… a thought came to me…

Hand washing and waxing your car is like making love to it… Start by turning on some music, R&B is always best… then turning the hose on and getting her all wet… then with a soft cloth and some bubbles, you start to gently rub and sometimes gently scratch her from head to toe… gently caressing her every curve… noticing all her imperfections, and all her perfections… you dry her off and start to look over her entire body… just then you pull out the wax… and you don’t miss any spot… you rub and stroke every nook and cranny of her seductive curvy body… being methodical that you have not missed a single spot… and just as you start to sweat from the motion of all those tiny soft, little circles… you let loose a few small grunts and moans… You start to talk to her… “Yeah baby, shine for me” You know she’s into it… she starts to rock back and forth slowly…in tune with your motion… for this moment you and her are one! As you go over her body one last time, to remove the wax you start to get a full glimpse into her soul… and you can see the reflection of clouds in her smile and the bright glow of the sun in her eyes… You take a final step back, and are overwhelmed with the feeling of accomplishment… as she lies there, happy, smiling, satisfied that she knows she will be taken car of… and all you can do is just smile at her beauty…

Ladies… you should hear my voice… It makes this thing I just typed 8 million times better…

Guys… If you don’t look at your car this way… I feel bad for your women!

:evil:

Holy shit, I need a cigarette after reading that! WOOOOO :wub:

You should write romance novels based on cars! :bellyroll:

"He walked to her hind and saw the tailpipe. There was no turning back now."

[jdubau55]

"He walked to her hind and saw the tailpipe. There was no turning back now."


Literally laughed out loud at that one.

[Black Yaris]

while reading that to myself, I herd Isaac Hayes (Chef) saying it.... Kinda creepy...

[RogueYaris]

yeah, had to laugh at this one and let my gf in on it. she said sick but couldn't help laughing.

[tds12]

You know you did it right if you have to wash it again. after.....
That aint a potato in your tail pipe.

[yrsdrgn]

haha nice little telltale you got there :laugh:

[Razr]

dooood!! get a girlfirend already!



WTF, it was funny I s'pose :)

[Nutzoids]

"He walked to her hind and saw the tailpipe. There was no turning back now."

HAHAHAHAHAHA... So I was drinking when I read this... And snarfed Ginger Ale out my nose all over my 27" LCD TV monitor... Thanks for the good laugh Chino... You owe me a new monitor! DICK!

:evil:

[ChinoCharles]

Charles - 1
You - 0

[Nutzoids]

dooood!! get a girlfirend already!

WTF, it was funny I s'pose :)

I have a Girl Friend... And believe you me... She is very happy!

Thanks... I like to make people laugh... even if it is at how pathetic I am!

:evil:

[Nutzoids]

Send it to me. I'll fix it for you.

Yeah sure... why do I have a feeling I would get back a 15" CRT with a Note...

"It works great now! enjoy your new monitor!"

...Naw it's cool... I cleaned it up already!

:evil:

[bigsky2]

Speaking of which I have to wash my car today, for the second time.

[Bretsuaz]

Reminds me of this SNL skit.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x11ok_pub-mercury-mistress

[Typer73]

Nutzoids--if you treat your girl half as good as you treat your car, she's one lucky lady! BTW, no more of these, I'm trying to quit smoking.

[ChinoCharles]

Speaking of which I have to wash my car today, for the second time.

:eyebulge: :bellyroll:

[Nutzoids]

Reminds me of this SNL skit.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x11ok_pub-mercury-mistress

I love it!... Busted out laughing...

Nutzoids--if you treat your girl half as good as you treat your car, she's one lucky lady! BTW, no more of these, I'm trying to quit smoking.

She sure is... I usually treat her better then my car!!! I'm trying to quite smoking too... That's probably where this all started from!

:evil:

[Bretsuaz]

[QUOTE=Nutzoids;62485]I love it!... Busted out laughing...



I think you should trade your Yaris in for a Mercury Mistress.

[Nutzoids]

[QUOTE=Nutzoids;62485]I love it!... Busted out laughing...



I think you should trade your Yaris in for a Mercury Mistress.

Why trade her in... I can just Mod her...

:evil:

[ChinoCharles]

[QUOTE=Bretsuaz;62536]

Why trade her in... I can just Mod her...

:evil:

Oh sweet Jesus...

[zenodaddy]

LMAO that reply was impressive... :respekt:

[Nutzoids]

[QUOTE=Nutzoids;62541]

Oh sweet Jesus...

So...ummm....Is this too far to take a joke?

:evil:

[Bretsuaz]

Damn...... looks like your Yaris has been around the block a couple times.

[jdubau55]

You have to tell me where you got that Brittany Spears replica!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nutzoids]

You have to tell me where you got that Brittany Spears replica!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA... It's not a Replica...

I just offered Britney a pack of Marborlo reds and a 8 ball of Coke... she was more then willing!

:evil:

[ChinoCharles]

Anyone in the mood for meatloaf?

[Nutzoids]

Anyone in the mood for meatloaf?

Not me! I'm kinda in the mood for TACOs

:evil:

[jdubau55]

UHHHHHHGGGG.....Seriously, I have never seen a vaj look that bad.

[ChinoCharles]

That c-section scar is HOT!

[bigsky2]

Well, two washes later, and the car is sparkling clean.

And it rained today..

I love Vancouver.

[Nutzoids]

Don't feel bad there is Rain and Sleet here in PA... But I'll tell you what... My Yaris looks hot in with that WET look!

:evil:

[Chris07LB]

rain / sleet mess here in south jersey already. :frown:

[StellarPrincess]

one word... wow...

im all hot now*

lol....:wub:

[Razr]

That c-section scar is HOT!

If your new leather seats had a scar like that you'd ask for your money back :bellyroll:

[Nutzoids]

one word... wow...

im all hot now*

lol....:wub:

You and me both Princess! :thumbsup:

:evil:

[Blenjar]

lmao

-- Blen

[Pavel Olavich]

So this weekend I took the time to really clean my car… I hand washed and waxed it from front to back… Top to bottom… and at some point , I think it was while I was waxing her… a thought came to me…

Hand washing and waxing your car is like making love to it… Start by turning on some music, R&B is always best… then turning the hose on and getting her all wet… then with a soft cloth and some bubbles, you start to gently rub and sometimes gently scratch her from head to toe… gently caressing her every curve… noticing all her imperfections, and all her perfections… you dry her off and start to look over her entire body… just then you pull out the wax… and you don’t miss any spot… you rub and stroke every nook and cranny of her seductive curvy body… being methodical that you have not missed a single spot… and just as you start to sweat from the motion of all those tiny soft, little circles… you let loose a few small grunts and moans… You start to talk to her… “Yeah baby, shine for me” You know she’s into it… she starts to rock back and forth slowly…in tune with your motion… for this moment you and her are one! As you go over her body one last time, to remove the wax you start to get a full glimpse into her soul… and you can see the reflection of clouds in her smile and the bright glow of the sun in her eyes… You take a final step back, and are overwhelmed with the feeling of accomplishment… as she lies there, happy, smiling, satisfied that she knows she will be taken car of… and all you can do is just smile at her beauty…

Ladies… you should hear my voice… It makes this thing I just typed 8 million times better…

Guys… If you don’t look at your car this way… I feel bad for your women!

:evil:

You blew it dude....you forgot "fore play"....ah, I mean you forget to CLAY first....now strip off the wax, clay the entire body then wax again...the difference in feeling the paint is huge!!! Even with my brand new Yaris, just 3 days old, the paint feel and look greatly improved after claying it...the feel of the paint on my finger tips was silky slippery smooth.

[Pavel Olavich]

HAHAHAHAHA... It's not a Replica...

I just offered Britney a pack of Marborlo reds and a 8 ball of Coke... she was more then willing!

:evil:

For a rich celebrity, she is flabby looking...I'm not impressed...anyone for a ham sandwich?!? lol

And her morally bankrupt friend Paris looks like cr@p too....I don't see what anyone seems in the smirking ugly girl...yuk!