The Man Test

[*MAD DOG*]

***DISCLAIMER***

I got this in an email. Some people will find this offensive. To those people I will say right now that I have nothing against "Homosexuals", but I don't crave to be one. Let's not make this a gay bash thread but enjoy the post for what it is.

Here Goes.....


THE MAN TEST

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer.. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your arse over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-b un, come to daddy, snookum s!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is; you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-arsed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being an ass puncher.

[Kal-El]

[JumpmanYaris]

RLMFAO

[*MAD DOG*]

I'm glad people are enjoying this.

[dvlnblkdrs]

I will say that this is offensive, rediculous and am baffled that you would think it alright to post this here Tony. I know you enjoy stepping on the line of funny and offensive.. but really.. i am outraged

[*MAD DOG*]

Originally Posted by dvlnblkdrs

I will say that this is offensive, rediculous and am baffled that you would think it alright to post this here Tony. I know you enjoy stepping on the line of funny and offensive.. but really.. i am outraged

Ok,

Maybe i need to grow up. But I did post a "Disclaimer".

Originally Posted by *MAD DOG*

***DISCLAIMER***

I got this in an email. Some people will find this offensive. To those people I will say right now that I have nothing against "Homosexuals", but I don't crave to be one. Let's not make this a gay bash thread but enjoy the post for what it is.

Here Goes.....

As I have offended you, mark my post as spam offensive and let a mod decide what to do with this thread. Did you read the Disclaimer? It was put there with good intention to try and avoid a reaction like this.

Sorry Jill.

[PETERPOOP]

i like it

[kustom play]

thats one of the best jokes ive heard other then womans rights

[*MOMUS*]

NO now this is some funny shit

***DISCLAIMER***

Some people will find this offensive. To those people I will say right now that I have nothing against "Fat Folks", but I don't crave to be one. Let's not make this a fat bash thread but enjoy the post for what it is.

Here Goes.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlbtDcXDDNk

[eTiMaGo]

[Speedjunkiejp]

Funny stuff there, both accounts LOL

[TLyttle]

My wives will attest to my straightness, yet there are some of those descriptions that work fine for me. I also have a couple of good friends who are gay: they know I am straight, and never hit on me, that's the way they are in my experience.

So I, for one, don't find that post funny at all. The guy who wrote it has some real insecurity issues and needs treatment. Perhaps someone can find a post degrading neanderthals of his ilk, I may find that funny...

[tomato]

Well, I guess what makes it offensive is not the joke itself but that at the end of each paragraph it uses demeaning words like "fags" etc.

A really good joke is a joke that makes EVERYBODY LAUGH, including the people you're laughing at.

Plus the "real man" described in the joke ressembles Larry the Cable Guy a lot more than anyone I know in real life.

If the joke just said "if you need to use 7 words to order your morning coffee(soy-lowfat-latte-etc.), you might be gay" "If you don't use the public restrooms, .... you might be gay" I think the joke would come across way better and be much, much funnier.

Don't take it personally, though, OP: I love your joke thread as you know, and find it positively hilarious most of the time, but I don't know about this particular joke, though.

MadDog: Remember when you thought the guy selling stickers making fun of Yarii on ebay was mean-spririted? Well, I think this particular joke is kind of mean spirited too because of the way it's worded.

My 2 c! :)

[Kioshi]

Most of the ones posted by Mad Dog were a good laugh for what, a few seconds? I just found # 4 a bit retarded/offensive because i come from an Asian background.... just white man dirty if you ask me~

The youtube link about fat people was a good laugh, no other comment.

[Slick]

Holy moly! What an a hole! Why would you post something like that?












I'm just kiddin, I have a sense of humor. Unlike some others... The joke was not aimed at anyone. He did infer not to read it if you are easily offended. So there is no point in throwing a fit. My .02 Maybe those of ya'll who are soft skinned should heed the warning next time. Its like a railroad sign flashing alerting you of an oncoming train, but you drive across the tracks anyway. No one forced you. Again, just my .02 :)

[KRAZGRL]

Originally Posted by dvlnblkdrs

I will say that this is offensive, rediculous and am baffled that you would think it alright to post this here Tony. I know you enjoy stepping on the line of funny and offensive.. but really.. i am outraged

+1

Originally Posted by *MAD DOG*

***DISCLAIMER***

I got this in an email. Some people will find this offensive. To those people I will say right now that I have nothing against "Homosexuals", but I don't crave to be one. Let's not make this a gay bash thread but enjoy the post for what it is.

Here Goes.....

Disclaimer or not... You can simply tell by the disclaimer that you do have some issues with gays. A lot can be discovered about a person not just by what they say, but by the WAY they say it. Who else would put homosexuals in quotes, like it's just a name for something you dispise? And you don't "crave" to be one? WTF is that supposed to mean? Like they gay community chooses or craves to be outcasts, have jokes made about their lifestyle, not have equal rights, and constantly be oppressed?

I think this joke should NOT have been passed on since it's things like these (be it sexist, racist, or anti-gay) that keep the world divided and disallow people of all backgrounds the ability to stand on equal ground.

Mods, please lock this thread.

[Yaris Hilton]

It's rather similar to a lot of "good humored" racist jokes that have gone around, and still do.

[ChinoCharles]

LOL! CLOSED! I won't tolerate the F word any more than the N word. Sorry.