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Old 08-25-2010, 04:22 AM   #1
ubospawis
 
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Joke Time

Its your Joke, its your time, ITS JOKE TIME!!!

Ilabas na ang talento sa pagpapatawa, kahit hindi original para maiba naman he he

Mauna maglagay ng joke pogi.
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Old 08-25-2010, 12:18 PM   #2
marcus
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erap jokes is the bestest...lolz

my joke is "ERAP" hehehehehahaha that cracks me up all the time nuff said.
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Old 08-26-2010, 01:23 PM   #3
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wehehe wala ng gustong magpatawa, hindi pala jokers mga kayaris or nahihiyalang?
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:30 PM   #4
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wahahahaha ! ! ! mahiyain pala ang mga kayaris wehehehe
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:33 PM   #5
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customer:miss, may itlog ba? masarap kasi kumain ng lugaw kung may kasamang itlog.

waitress: wala eh, hawakan mo na lang itlog mo habang kinakain mo lugaw mo..
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Old 08-27-2010, 03:12 PM   #6
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Sa loob ng hotel aksidenteng nabangga ng bellboy ang suso ng isang magandang guest..

BELLBOY: Ma’am, sorry po kung ang puso niyo ay kasing lambot ng suso niyo, alam ko pataatwarin mo ako

Sumagot ang magandang guest..

BABAE: Kung kasing tigas naman ng siko mo yang t*t* mo, nasa room 201 lang ako
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Old 08-27-2010, 04:29 PM   #7
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Inside the class room. Teacher is asking the students who are their favorite Hollywood actor.

Pedro: Brad Pit mam.

Teacher: ok, spell Brad Pit

Pedro: Capital B.r.a.d. p.i.t brad pit

Teacher: Good. ikaw Juan?

Juan: Tom Cruise mam.

Teacher: ok, spell Tom cruise

Juan: Capital T.o.m. c.r.u.i.s.e. tom cruise

Teacher: Good. ikaw Erap?

Erap: Arnold Schwarzenegger mam.

Teacher: Good choice. Ok, spell Arnold Schwarzenegger

Erap: Capital A.r.n.o.l.d s.c.h.w.a.r????????

Erap: Arnold Clavio na lang mam.

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Old 08-27-2010, 05:30 PM   #8
marcus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ubospawis View Post
customer:miss, may itlog ba? masarap kasi kumain ng lugaw kung may kasamang itlog.

waitress: wala eh, hawakan mo na lang itlog mo habang kinakain mo lugaw mo..
lolz good one..got to use that one..hehehe
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Old 08-28-2010, 03:37 AM   #9
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eto true to life story.

Papa: Jeyo SEX kami ng mama mo ha.
Jeyo: sige ako SEVEN

wehehe, hagikhik kami ng tawa ni misis, kala ko itatanong nya ano yung SEX.
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Old 08-28-2010, 03:44 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ubospawis View Post
eto true to life story.

Papa: Jeyo SEX kami ng mama mo ha.
Jeyo: sige ako SEVEN

wehehe, hagikhik kami ng tawa ni misis, kala ko itatanong nya ano yung SEX.
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Old 08-28-2010, 03:52 AM   #11
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Talking Compilation

1-10
Nanay: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?
Anak: Mas bobo si tatay nay, kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, 'tama na inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko.'

Ano ang pagkain?
Mister: Ano ang pagkain natin?
Misis: Nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
Mister: Isang pirasong tuyo? ano pagpipilian ko?
Misis: Pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

Overseas call
IDD call from US:
Husband: Hon, musta ang tindahan?
Wife: Department store na!
Husband: Ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: Ang mga tri-sikad?
Wife: Taxi na!
Husband: Ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: Lima na!

Horoscope
Sweethearts watchin' the sky...
Guy: Ano ang horoscope mo?
Girl: Anong huruskup?
Guy: Yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER.
Girl: Ah, sa akin ALMURANAS!

Almusal
Donya: Bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empuntu!
Maid: Walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna na kayong mag-almusal!

Ni-rape
Maid: Ma'm, ni-rape ako ng magnanakaw kagabi...
Madam: Bakit di ka sumigaw?
Maid: Eh, akala ko po si Sir, pero nung makadalawa, nagduda na ako!
Mayaman - Mahirap
Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

Pangarap
Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
Elen: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
Toto: Hindi! Yan din ang pangarap niya!

Dalawang mayabang
Usapan ng dalawang mayabang.... .
Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala niya ang dyaryo sa akin.
Diego: Alam ko.
Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?
Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.

Nitrates
A Chemistry teacher asked a sexy student, 'What are Nitrates?
The student replied shyly, 'Ma'am, sa motel po. Nitrates are higher than day rates!'

Siling labuyo
Ate: Musta date mo sis? Epektib ba payo ko, siling labuyo sa nipples mo para di ka galawin ng bf mo?
Sis: Hay naku Ate, palpak! Ginanahan pa lalo, eh, uragon pala!

Madre't sakristan
Madre: Ano ang apelyido mo, iho?
Sakristan: Alam nyo na ho yun sister, lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan. .
Madre: Susmaryosep! Bayag ba ang apelyido mo?!
Sakristan: Sister naman, Rosario po.

Katapusan na!
Lumindol ng malakas noon....
Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic!
Sumigaw ang isang lalaki...'Katapusan na! Katapusan na!'
Sumagot ang isa pang lalaki....
'Tanga! A-kinse pa alang!'

Utot
Pupil: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot?
Teacher: No! Definitely not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi bumubukol ang utot ...
Pupil: Naku patay! Tae na to!

Sa airplane
Sa isang mumurahing airline...
Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po.

Walang syota
Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!

Sa isang ospital
Sa isang ospital...
Lola (may cancer): Doc, anong gagawin niyo sa akin?
Doc : Che-chemo, lola.
Lola : Titi mo rin! Bastos ka! Walang modo!

Top One
Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
Nanay: Ba't mo naman nasabi?
Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!

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Old 08-28-2010, 04:01 AM   #12
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pinakyaw mo na
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Old 08-28-2010, 04:10 AM   #13
syntax
 
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@ rye lam ko na kung pano mo napasagot misis mo wehehehehe
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Old 08-28-2010, 04:12 AM   #14
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@syntax pano? bwahahahaha!
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Old 08-28-2010, 04:22 AM   #15
syntax
 
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@ rye wahahahha nadaan mo sa mga jokes mo weheheheh
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Old 08-28-2010, 05:38 AM   #16
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Hahahahaha! Likas na sa ating mga pinoy yan!
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Old 08-28-2010, 07:26 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rye7jen View Post
Hahahahaha! Likas na sa ating mga pinoy yan!
:c lap:
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:36 AM   #18
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:laughabove

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