Latest corporate memo at work. - Toyota Yaris Forums

*MAD DOG* · 12-02-2008, 10:36 PM

I thought i'd share it with you.

Dear employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Enjoy the Holidays!

Sincerely,

The Management

TinyGiant · 12-02-2008, 10:39 PM

nice lol

*kimona* · 12-02-2008, 10:43 PM

Stargate YARlantIS · 12-02-2008, 10:47 PM

Schweet!

jinxor · 12-02-2008, 11:05 PM

TEHxFALLEN V1.2 · 12-02-2008, 11:48 PM

LOL awesome!

I'm gonna post whore that on MySpace.

12-02-2008, 10:36 PM	#1
MAD DOG Drives: 2011 Toyota Camry Hybrid Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Victoria, Australia Posts: 6,412	Latest corporate memo at work. I thought i'd share it with you. Dear employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Enjoy the Holidays! Sincerely, The Management __________________ "Manual labour is not for me. In fact i'm not even sure non manual work is either." -Anthony Linton Check out ▬▬► I like I like ◄▬▬ for more fun on Facebook

12-02-2008, 10:39 PM	#2
TinyGiant Tiny Giant Clothing View User's Garage Drives: 2008 Blazing Blue Yaris 3D LB Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Rochester, NH Posts: 3,394	nice lol __________________ Sold the yaris... rocking an 89 vw cabriolet now :)

12-02-2008, 10:47 PM	#4
Stargate YARlantIS View User's Garage Drives: 2007 Yaris Liftback Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Saint Petersburg, FL Posts: 351	Schweet! __________________ Visualize whirled peas. Peace, Love and Good Smoke! --Tommy Chong

12-02-2008, 11:48 PM	#6
TEHxFALLEN V1.2 Banned View User's Garage Drives: '08 Lexus IS-F Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calabasas, CA Posts: 1,890	LOL awesome! I'm gonna post whore that on MySpace. __________________ DON'T LIKE ME? TAKE A SEAT WITH THE REST OF THE BITCHES WHO ARE WAITING FOR ME TO GIVE A FUCK. Sponsored by: Micro Image http://microimageonline.com

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12-02-2008, 10:43 PM	#3
kimona Super Moderator Drives: 2014 White VITZ Join Date: May 2007 Location: Huntington Bch, CA Posts: 4,938