Infidelity

[SIPNGAS]

It all seems a bit hopeless. I think it's all about self-respect, self-indulgence, greed, and compassion.

Without self-respect and compassion, anybody is at risk of becoming a cheater or allow themselves to be cheated on.

Those who are self-indulgent and greedy never consider what they do and how it will impact the person that's supposed to mean the most to them. It's all about the moment and who cares about the results to any involved.

btdt and I would rather be alone and rather lonely.

[GeneW]

Originally Posted by SIPNGAS

Those who are self-indulgent and greedy never consider what they do and how it will impact the person that's supposed to mean the most to them. It's all about the moment and who cares about the results to any involved.

Women I've seen who cheat were missing something in their lives. Most often it was either anger at their men or they felt that life was passing them by and they had to take something "else".

Usually the fantasy ended up being vastly different from the reality..

Most of the "players" I knew over the years were guys who wanted some fun. Thrill of the hunt and catch. Sometimes they felt were missing something at home. Who can say?

Originally Posted by SIPNGAS

btdt and I would rather be alone and rather lonely.

Loneliness is a state of mind. Some of my loneliest moments have been in a crowd of people and some of the least lonely was when I was alone doing something useful.

I have a good friend who will sometimes have a bad day and will overcompensate by seeking approval or who will rant. His long winded tirades inevitably end up bolstering him. I've spent hours with him but was not even there because I shut out his non-sense and those were indeed very lonely moments for me. Don't see much of him as I used to because I haven't yet learned how to shut off the bile. Yet.

The hardest part for me was learning to trust myself rather than another person. People do things for their own reasons. When I started to learn that it wasn't "personal" but something they wanted that I wouldn't or couldn't give them that inspired cheating I learned to deal with it.

A lot of guys get upset because they imagine that a woman wants something freakish (name your point of comparison) in another guy but most of the time it's a sense of connection and engagement that they cannot furnish. Ever. You can't be all things to someone and to even try to do so diminishes you.

There are simply people out there who won't let anyone get close to them. The love of my life was such a person, and to this day she still wanders out there looking and looking for that someone who will finally rescue her. She remarried a few years ago and I've heard that recently she's "on the prowl" again. She will never find what she seeks though for a short time she thought she found it with me. Life goes on.

Gene