ANAL THREAD VER 2.0

[dvlnblkdrs]

wow.. someone had ALOT of time on their hands.. lol

[jinxor]

pussy-zilla

[Kaotic Lazagna]

Originally Posted by enobmort42

28 pussies later
alvin and the pussy
pussy mountain
charlie wilson's pussy
dan in real pussy
finding pussy
get pussy
i am pussy
james bond: pussy of solace
pussy camp
pussy terrace
santa claus conquers the pussy
national lampoon's christmas pussy
superpussy
the davinci pussy
the incredible pussy
the onion pussy
uncle pussy
zack and miri make a pussy

[Kaotic Lazagna]

Mr. and Mrs. Pussy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Pussy
War of the Pussy
Marley and Pussy

[jinxor]

The day the pussy stood still

[Kaotic Lazagna]

Originally Posted by jinxor

The day the pussy stood still

LMAO!

[KCALB SIRAY]

As requested

1. Tea bag - As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your
scrotum in and out of her mouth, similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot
water.. An old favorite
2. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you shit on her chest.
(a.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)
3. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then
jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
4. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you
ejaculate, sticking your **** in her ass, and then punching her in the back
of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work
correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her ******* tightens up.
5. Golden Shower - Any form of peeing on a girl. (a.k.a.: watersports)
6. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area
of a girl, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
7. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty skank and
you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm
is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out
of this situation. Can be very painful.
8. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you
withdraw your ***** in order to slap it on her cheek. It should leave a
lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
9. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and
you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself
without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then to flap your arms and
let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.
10. Double Fishhook - From the doggy-style position, you hook your pinky
fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.
11. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming
her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should
allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile
sensitivity.
12. Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to
insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as
hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
13. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy
style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits
as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the
feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
14. Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet
enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat
sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
15. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your
ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before
releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits.
(Better in her bed)
16. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go
down on her, you puke on her box. Happy trails!
17. The Durty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone
doggie style, you insert your finger into said woman's *******, pull it out,
wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her
look like someone whose name would be Durty Sanchez.
18. Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your
thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use;
hence, western.
19. The Blumpkin - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It
involves having her suck you off while you're on the shitter.
20. The Bismark - Another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about
to spew, pull out and shoot all over her face. Follow that with a punch and
smear the blood and jism together.
21. Jelly Doughnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is
punch her in the nose while you are getting head.
22. Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking on your balls, repeatedly
tap the head of your **** on her forehead.
23. Tossing salad - Well known by now. A prison act where one person is
forced to chow ******* with the help of whatever condiments are available,
i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.
24. The Fish Eye - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her pooper.
Thereupon, she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the
hell you are doing.
25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover that
it's her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale
spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
26. Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane
between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball
gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
27. The Chili Dog - You take a dump on the girl's chest and then titty ****
her.
28. Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an **** probe is for
wimps. Make this famous knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits
on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on one
finger or on multiple).
29. The Rear Admiral - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind
(with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto
anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so
that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or
table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of
Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything
and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
30. Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and taking
a dump.
31. Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You're
can is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is
definitely worth a try.
32. The Snowmobile - When plugging a girl while she's on all fours, reach
around and sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
33. The Dutch Oven - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull
the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases..
34. Rusty Trombone - Getting the reacharound while getting your salad
tossed. Also known as milking the prostate.
35. Turkey Shoot - When you're coming, come on her face and let it drip off
her chin so it looks like that red shit on the turkey's chin.
36. Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.
37. Bargoyle - The hideous old hair-spray hag who seems to live at your
local watering hole. She usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of
dollars a night on video-poker, and makes sexually threatening comments to
frightened college freshmen.
38. Mangry - Describing the anger of women who are angry at men,
specifically. "She's such a *****, she's just plain mangry."
39. Clitourist - A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie:
"Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no
experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."
40. Australian Death Grip - The act of grabbing a woman by the
haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or
kissed. A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great
opportunity for wagering among friends.
41. Valsalva - The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a
woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just
prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that
the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as
it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.
42. Angry dragon - This involves the girl giving the guy head, and as he is
about to cum, karate-chopping the girl in the throat, causing the cum to
shoot out her nose.
43. Tony Danza - a takeoff of the donkey punch is called the Tony Danza.
When you are about to cum while doing a girl from behind, you say "who's the
boss?" and stick it in her ass. Before she says anything you shout "TONY
DANZA!" and punch her in the back of the head.
44. Alaskan firedragon - another good take off is one of the angry dragon
that is called the alaskan firedragon. When a girl is giving you a *******,
cum in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth at the same time. Then
whisper in her ear "i have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose.
45. The Fat Lip - If you get poison ivy and finger a girl, her labia lips
will swell. A la, the fat lip.
46. The Houdini - this maneuver is accomplished while going at it doggy
style. As you feel you are about to cum, you pull out and spit on the small
of her back (making her think you've finished...). It's at the point when
she turns around when *BAM!* You bust your load in her face (in the eye if
you've got proper aiming techniques down.) Also known as the Doug Hennings
and the David Copperfield.
47. Upperdecking (not sexual)- This one takes practice. This maneuver
requires a toilet with a tank above it, like the ones in most homes. Instead
of crapping in the bowl, you shit in the tank (i.e. upperdecking). Now don't
flush. When the following victim flushes, the rancid waste fills the bowl..
If you play your cards right, it may ferment.
48. Airtight - this is where a girl has a **** in each of her three holes,
hence, airtight.
49. The Throne of Lightning - This is done by ****ing a girl while you shit
in a toilet. When you're going to blow your load, turn her over and dunk her
head in the toilet, while she's bobbing for your turd plummet a river of
semen in her ass. Not to be confused with "Ride the Lightning," a Metallica
album.
50. Abe Lincoln - You're getting a girl up the ass and give her a swift
donkey punch to the back of her head, knocking her unconscious. You then
turn her around and jerk off and blow your load all over her face. Then you
shave her beaver and take the clippings and spread it where you jizzed on
her, making a beard that looks like good ol Honest Abe's
51. The Beverly Hills Whiffer -This move is restricted to those women who
think they're God's gift to the world. Find a woman of the above
description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When you're about
to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, scraping as much shit as you
can from her. Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick one
finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so she can see you while you yell
"So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"
52. Shanghai Shampoo - **** a chick until you've built up a load large
enough to paint a room. Blow it all in her hair, rub it in thoroughly. When
it dries it will resemble the crunchy noodles often served with chop suey.
53. Frosting the Cake - When you are about to cum, blow a load all over her
chest. Then take your **** and evenly spread the Jism around the breasts and
over the nipples. Then stick some candles on it and start singing "Happy
Birthday." Then blow out the candles
54. Toboggan - At the top of a flight of stairs, as you're doggy-styling a
chick, give her a modified donkey punch between her shoulders. As her arms
fly into the air, grab her wrists and thrust... You should be able to ride
her down the stairs like a toboggan.
55. The Triple Crown of Sex - In the yapper, the snapper and the crapper all
in the same session.
56. Tombstone 69 - while having standing 69 with her upside down, wait till
you cheeze then exclaim "tombstone" and drop her on her head WWF style. With
any luck she will proceed to expell "angry dragon" style as well because of
the impact.
57. Shanghai Stirfry - when a girl gives you a *******, pukes all over your
**** and keeps going.
58. Hot Carl - when you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and
place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning.
59. **** Trumpet - While down on a chick, place your lips solidly over her
love hole and blow, watch her stomach rise as she fills with air. Then, with
a firm hand push down on her stomach to let all the air out like the
beautiful sound of a trumpet.
60. Rodeo **** - When you are doing your girl doggystyle, bend over and
whisper in her ear, "your almost as good a lay as your sister..." Then try
to hold on for 8 seconds.
61. Seal the Envelope - When hooking up with a really drunk girl and she
passes out before you cum, turn her over and blow your load all over her ass
crack. When it drys, it will seal her butt cheeks together and she will have
to pry them open the next day - hence, sealing the envelope.
62. The Shocker - Two in the Pink and one in the Stink. Or for more
stimulation, put two in the cooter, one in the pooter, and use your thumb to
rub the bush.
63. Louisville Slugger - Your girl is on her knees in front of you servicing
your pole. At some random point in time during this act you pull out, twist
your hips, yell "BATTER UP!!!!" and smack her firmly in the cheek with your
baseball bat like ****.
64. The Mumbler - A girl in pants that are too tight (you can see the lips
moving but you can't make out what they're saying).
65. The Wheelbarrow - Man and woman are going at it doggystyle on the floor,
then the man grabs the woman's legs and stands up, leaving the woman's arms
on the ground, and starts running around the room, continuing to pillage her
vagander.

[SIPNGAS]

Is this "THE" list, Herb? LOL

[hatchbackkid82]

yeah omg

[KCALB SIRAY]

because I'm bored

[90tsi]

that is Fn funny.

[KCALB SIRAY]

ANAL, we all know people that are anal, right?

[KCALB SIRAY]

swamp ass

[cali yaris]

An old favorite

TMI right there, buddy.

[tomato]

For real.

Who resurrected this thread?

Good tip: don't ask someone who lives in SF (or close enough) to comment on an anal thread *cough* *cough*

[cali yaris]

^ Now why would that be?

[tomato]

why? er.. local "anal" jokes are pretty bad around here /.02


(I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge but maybe not everywhere)

[KCALB SIRAY]

LOL someone was asking me about "The List" and I had to go look for it. This is actually the second version of the original thread before the hack. It was carried over for the hell of it as a joke. It all start when Lazandro noticed that when you titled a thread, advertisements would show at the bottom in conjunction to key words in the title. So he started a thread titled "ANAL" to see what would show up. It was all in good fun. ;)