My Buddy "Jeff"

[HTM Yaris]

First of all my buddy's name isn't Jeff . Just protecting his privacy

So , the day started just like the majority of days in my life . Curse alarm clock . Empty bladder . Hot Monkey sex with GF . Shit , Shower and Shave . Then more HOT monkey sex OK enough of the boring details .

Later I pull out of driveway . No big deal . 1 Block down the street I see my buddy Jeff ( The State Trooper ) pulling out of his driveway. He pulls in behind me . No big deal . (Oh wait , It had been raining all night and was still raining , so debris and water were on road) .

We get out of neighborhood onto main road . The speed limit is 35 mph , so I was doing 30 mph b/c I know Jeff doesn't cut any slack to anybody . No big deal . Just doin his job ....correctly .

Well , we were just cruisin' around a blind left hand turn when all of a sudden I see an EVO X HAULIN ASS towards us .My first thought was "Jeff is gonna start work early today . Poor EVO X" . Then my next thought was " Holy Shit , he (EVOX) is gonna see "Jeff" and lift off of the accel and then hit me .

SURE AS SHITTIN' , the EVO was coming at me , SIDEWAYS
Time for plan HOLY F*****G S**T Just for you peeps who don't know what Plan HFS is , Plan HFS is the water filled ditch on the right .
Somehow Coryn (My Yaris) manages to skate across the "creek" and slide between two HUGE pine trees .

So I get out of my car to inspect the damage , but soon as I get out of my car I see the EVOX had collided with "Jeff" . Not only that but "Jeff" had pulled the EVOX guy out of his car AND was whipping his ASS .

So now I have to run across the road and pull "Jeff" off of this guy so he wouln't kill him . Has anybody tried to subdue a pissed State Trooper ? No Big Deal , PFFFT riiiiight . Needless to say I got a few elbows to the face . Thank goodness for modern dentistry . Where is the Snaggle Tooth smiley when you need it

So now I'm sitting down with the handcuffed EVOX guy on the the side of the road . He was very apolegetic (Imagine that) . He states that whats a real bummer is that he just put new parts on his EVOX the previous night and now his car was totaled . So I ask him what parts . He states Turbo back exhaust , Coil-overs , wheels/tires and REAR SWAY BAR . Then I think ,"You put all these parts on last night then decide to "TEST" these new parts in the rain " . I was all I could do to keep me from putting MY Elbow through his forehead

Coryn is fine . She only has bent tie rod ends and a dented oil pan so far . I have not put Coryn on the lift yet to get a better look . Me ,well my jaw is sore

[Tamago]

so much for the lack of police brutality lol

[YAR1S]

ouch.
what a fool.
now... when you say you were sitting next to EVOX were you cuffed too? LOL!

[tomato]

Originally Posted by HTM Yaris

First of all my buddy's name isn't Jeff . Just protecting his privacy

for the story! I've never heard someone describe an accident quite like this before!

This has got to be one of the best "accident" stories ever.

Glad you and Coryn are OK

[PETERPOOP]

cool cop

[cleong]

Cool story. Could we see a photo of the wrecked Evo X, at least?

Seems Yarii are accident magnets nowadays though.

[MadMax]

Pics, or it never happened...

And I don't mean some stinking bent tire rods, I want to see the EVO smashed into the State Trooper's car!

Never, ever interfere with a LEO doing his job, even if you know him. You can get into a lot of trouble that way!

Cheers! M2

[Kaotic Lazagna]

Damn, sucks for the EVO guy. Glad no one was hurt...that bad.

[ChinoCharles]

LOL Wow!

[Deltasix]

Originally Posted by cleong

Seems Yarii are accident magnets nowadays though.

It really does. More stories about car crashes than car mods!

[*MAD DOG*]

Does this story belong in the "Fact" or "Fiction" section? If it's really fact then WOW that's an amazing story. If it's fiction it's a good read.

[SilverBack]

What a moron...

I say he should give you all his mods as payment for the damage to your car. He no longer had a running car anyway, and repairing yours can be expensive. A fair trade IMO.

If not, you can always just blow the whistle on his insurance company

Okay I'll stop being a jerk, for now...

[Forrest]

Any pics? Trooper car?? Your car???

[TRDMarty]

Next time just stay home and have MORE HOT MONKEY SEX!!!

That guy is a BONEHEAD. Glad your OK

[BLAZINBLUEVITZ]

how can you have sex when you gotta take a shit?

[eric81]

Glad you are not hurt. Sounds like the guy got what he deserved. I can see the state trooper doing that, since a lot of people fight when they just get out of an accident. I saw a guy who's head was split (blood pouring out all over) and his kid was still stuck in the rolled car go after the guy HE hit, and tried to blame the guy for going on a green light, several seconds after it had turned green. The bleeding guy ran a left turn on a red, WAY after it had turned red, racing through it, tires squealing and everything, and hit an equally large SUV, just to roll over 3 times! No pics, as I was in uniform (Army) and it was like, 4 years ago now. It took 5 guys to subdue the guy and another to hold a shirt on the guys head until the ambulance got there. I helped pull his son out of the passenger seat. Thank God for seat belts and airbags.

[HTM Yaris]

Sorry everyone I've been out for the last few days with a VERY STRAINED back muscle . Felt like a kidney stone . I was in so much pain that the ER DR prescribed my Dalaudid

About the pics . I usually don't carry a cam while going to work and I didn't have my cell phone

I went to Jeff's house to ask if I could get pics of his car and he flat out said NO ( Something about bad publicity ) . Then I tried to locate the EVOX in the junkyards . No luck there either

I also assumed that Jeff pulled him out of car , but according to Jeff the guy got out and tried to run .

About the damage to my car . What I thought was a dented oil pan was actually white clay . What was damaged was the inner and outer tie rod ends . What really sux is that you have to purchase the inner rod with the steering rack ( $ 860 ) . The outer rods are $110 each . I also had the knuckles replaced for good measure ( $175 each ) . I am glad that this is not coming out of my pocket I pick up my car tommorow .

About the sex before the Shit . There was about 25 minutes between Sex and defication , gotta have that Cigarette .