i think i have a big problem

[kustom play]

I've never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My girlfriend has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car around the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girlfriend. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike , that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

[SIPNGAS]

I'm confused...which is the bigger problem? The leaking oil or the possibility that your girlfriend is cheating on you? And you never said, did she get out of a car or a taxi?

[YAR1S]

hahahahaha :D

[kustom play]

Originally Posted by SIPNGAS

I'm confused...which is the bigger problem? The leaking oil or the possibility that your girlfriend is cheating on you? And you never said, did she get out of a car or a taxi?

you didnt get the joke

[KCALB SIRAY]

I just blew water all over the place, OMG, that was funny shit right there, I don't care who you are, that's funny

[nemelek]

You could have posted this one on ask KCLAB.

[mrbond]

hahahahahaha i'm laughing so much right now
good joke!

[SIPNGAS]

OMG!! I guess you got me....SHEESH!

[GeneW]

Originally Posted by kustom play

I've never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My girlfriend has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car around the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girlfriend. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike , that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Self respect is the answer to many problems in life. Your first course of action is to reach between your legs to rediscover your testicles. Unless she removed them when you weren't looking they are still there.

Life is too short to waste on sneaky live ins and vehicles with poor oil control. Either replace the gaskets or sell it off before it pisses oil onto your clothing, diminishing your appearance.

In the case of the sneaky wench consult an attorney immediately, paying for it out of lunch money. If you two cohabitate it is possible that this creature could lay claim to your money. Take measures immediately to frustrate her designs.

Follow the Attorney's advice to the letter, insuring that she cannot take you to the cleaners nor jack you up on a phony domestic disturbance rap. She is a lost cause since she no longer respects you as you should respect yourself. If she respected you she would not have this persistent "thing" going on. To err is human, to serially err is to invite being kicked to the curb.

Get to it!

Gene

[kustom play]

it was a joke, none of it is real

it was meant to just be a funny read

[highwaypass]

haha i prefer to change the oil first

[GeneW]

Originally Posted by kustom play

it was a joke, none of it is real

it was meant to just be a funny read

Oh? Okay, you think that cheating is funny. I think that medical humor is funny.


One day while I was in a dialysis clinic one of the more malcontent patients began her daily barf. She would do this every day because she insisted on eating close to the time of the procedure, against medical advice. Once they gave her hypertonic saline whatever she ate would come right back up.

That evening I'd bought a large can of Progresso Lentil soup. While I was eating it our star patient decided to have an "episode".


I was sharing the break room with two other colleagues - an RN who thrilled herself with gross things, and a good friend of hers who was a tech.

The nurse said to me , "Hey, is D upchucking?"

Her leer told me t hat she hoped to spoil my appetite. Nothing doing! I was raised with medical people and was renowned for my morbid sense of humor.

I peaked around the corner, looking onto the floor of the clinic. Sure enough D was filling an emesis basin while vomiting lustily, groaning between voidings that we were "killing her, goddammit!".

"Yeah", I said. As I watched her the nurse in question started to grin at me. I looked more intently and said, "Cool! It looks just like this soup... except it has small marshmallows in it".

She and the tech vacated the room with pale faces. I laughed uproarously and then finished my supper.

Humor means different things to different people. IF you'd like some more funny medical stories, just ask. I got a ton of them.

Gene

[DefStarYaris]

Haha man, you had me going for a second. I had to read that last part over just to make sure it was a joke.

[SailDesign]

The obvious answer here is that you own a Norton. They were built to mark their spots, so don't worry about a thing.

[TLyttle]

Just Nortons? We always knew where someone parked their Hardly Driveable by the oil slick left behind...

[GeneW]

Originally Posted by TLyttle

Just Nortons? We always knew where someone parked their Hardly Driveable by the oil slick left behind...

That is part of the "mystique" of a Harley, those interminable oil spots. Kind of like how some Chinese folks turn poverty into a virtue by making rat meat a delicacy.

Gene

[cali yaris]

Can I have your girlfriend's phone number?

[m911gt]

Originally Posted by SIPNGAS

I'm confused...which is the bigger problem? The leaking oil or the possibility that your girlfriend is cheating on you? And you never said, did she get out of a car or a taxi?

LOL!!!