Toyota Yaris Forums - Ultimate Yaris Enthusiast Site
 

 


 
Go Back   Toyota Yaris Forums - Ultimate Yaris Enthusiast Site > Members Area > Off-topic / Other Cars / Everything else Discussions
  The Tire Rack

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-02-2008, 02:28 PM   #1
ddongbap
Banned
 
Drives: yw calls me douche and racist.
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: hay
Posts: 2,183
Chuck Norris Jokes.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can slam a revolving door.
ddongbap is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 02:57 PM   #2
TEHxFALLEN V1.2
Banned
 
TEHxFALLEN V1.2's Avatar
 
Drives: '08 Lexus IS-F
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Calabasas, CA
Posts: 1,890
Send a message via AIM to TEHxFALLEN V1.2
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

W00T! Teh Chuck Norris thread is back!
(:
__________________
DON'T LIKE ME? TAKE A SEAT WITH THE REST OF THE BITCHES WHO ARE WAITING FOR ME TO GIVE A FUCK.

Sponsored by: Micro Image
http://microimageonline.com
TEHxFALLEN V1.2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 03:53 PM   #3
ECHOKnight2000
Small Car Lover
 
ECHOKnight2000's Avatar
 
Drives: A Super Car
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Minnesota, US of A!
Posts: 830
Everytime you masterbate Chuck Norris punches a Mexican baby
__________________
You may look good on the beach but in reality you're a pompus, egotistical jerk. "I was never on the beach with you..."and you never will.
ECHOKnight2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 04:08 PM   #4
Bob_VT
 
Bob_VT's Avatar
 
Drives: 08 Yaris LB
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,704
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
__________________
some people are little slinkies. . . . .they are really good for nothing. . . .but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.


Come to the DARKSIDE..... We have candy
Bob_VT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 04:42 PM   #5
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. You can't grow hair on balls of steel!
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 04:43 PM   #6
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 04:47 PM   #7
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
The only reason you exist is because Chuck Norris lets you
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 09:09 PM   #8
eco
 
eco's Avatar
 
Drives: 2007 Black Yaris sedan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 884
If you meet Chuck Norris and had $5,and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris really has $10..
eco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2008, 09:11 PM   #9
TinyGiant
Tiny Giant Clothing
 
TinyGiant's Avatar
 
Drives: 2008 Blazing Blue Yaris 3D LB
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Rochester, NH
Posts: 3,394
Chuck Norris can unscramble Eggs
__________________
Sold the yaris... rocking an 89 vw cabriolet now :)
TinyGiant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 12:18 AM   #10
eco
 
eco's Avatar
 
Drives: 2007 Black Yaris sedan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 884
Chuck Norris chops trees down with his dick.
eco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 10:52 AM   #11
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 10:53 AM   #12
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
When Chuck Norris was denied a McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 10:54 AM   #13
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 10:57 AM   #14
TinyGiant
Tiny Giant Clothing
 
TinyGiant's Avatar
 
Drives: 2008 Blazing Blue Yaris 3D LB
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Rochester, NH
Posts: 3,394
When Chuck Norris was Born He spanked the Doctor
__________________
Sold the yaris... rocking an 89 vw cabriolet now :)
TinyGiant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 10:57 AM   #15
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 11:31 AM   #16
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 11:32 AM   #17
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2008, 02:14 PM   #18
KCALB SIRAY
それを吸ってください
 
KCALB SIRAY's Avatar
 
Drives: black sand lb
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,894
When was the last time you saw Steve Erkal?..............you can thank Chuck Norris.
KCALB SIRAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Official *MAD DOG* jokes thread v2 *MAD DOG* Off-topic / Other Cars / Everything else Discussions 771 05-22-2013 12:25 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:50 PM.




YarisWorld
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.