My Buddy "Jeff"

[HTM Yaris]

First of all my buddy's name isn't Jeff . Just protecting his privacy

So , the day started just like the majority of days in my life . Curse alarm clock . Empty bladder . Hot Monkey sex with GF . Shit , Shower and Shave . Then more HOT monkey sex OK enough of the boring details .

Later I pull out of driveway . No big deal . 1 Block down the street I see my buddy Jeff ( The State Trooper ) pulling out of his driveway. He pulls in behind me . No big deal . (Oh wait , It had been raining all night and was still raining , so debris and water were on road) .

We get out of neighborhood onto main road . The speed limit is 35 mph , so I was doing 30 mph b/c I know Jeff doesn't cut any slack to anybody . No big deal . Just doin his job ....correctly .

Well , we were just cruisin' around a blind left hand turn when all of a sudden I see an EVO X HAULIN ASS towards us .My first thought was "Jeff is gonna start work early today . Poor EVO X" . Then my next thought was " Holy Shit , he (EVOX) is gonna see "Jeff" and lift off of the accel and then hit me .

SURE AS SHITTIN' , the EVO was coming at me , SIDEWAYS
Time for plan HOLY F*****G S**T Just for you peeps who don't know what Plan HFS is , Plan HFS is the water filled ditch on the right .
Somehow Coryn (My Yaris) manages to skate across the "creek" and slide between two HUGE pine trees .

So I get out of my car to inspect the damage , but soon as I get out of my car I see the EVOX had collided with "Jeff" . Not only that but "Jeff" had pulled the EVOX guy out of his car AND was whipping his ASS .

So now I have to run across the road and pull "Jeff" off of this guy so he wouln't kill him . Has anybody tried to subdue a pissed State Trooper ? No Big Deal , PFFFT riiiiight . Needless to say I got a few elbows to the face . Thank goodness for modern dentistry . Where is the Snaggle Tooth smiley when you need it

So now I'm sitting down with the handcuffed EVOX guy on the the side of the road . He was very apolegetic (Imagine that) . He states that whats a real bummer is that he just put new parts on his EVOX the previous night and now his car was totaled . So I ask him what parts . He states Turbo back exhaust , Coil-overs , wheels/tires and REAR SWAY BAR . Then I think ,"You put all these parts on last night then decide to "TEST" these new parts in the rain " . I was all I could do to keep me from putting MY Elbow through his forehead

Coryn is fine . She only has bent tie rod ends and a dented oil pan so far . I have not put Coryn on the lift yet to get a better look . Me ,well my jaw is sore