Fear of kindness

[BailOut]

While heading into my local Trader Joe's to do some grocery shopping this morning I noticed a pair of smiling teenage girls right out front of the store. They were holding hand made and cute signs that said "Free Hugs".

I am ashamed to admit that my first reaction was aversion and I immediately began planning how to get into the store without making eye contact with either of them.

Then it hit me. Why am I afraid? What is so wrong with me that I will willingly go out of my way to avoid a simple kindness offered so selflessly from people that are obviously no threat to me? Why am I afraid of human contact outside my tight circle of friends and family? What kind of person am I that I would refuse such a gift as a free hug?

I decided that I had no legitimate reason to be afraid and that I was going to go get a hug, but even so I still had to get over some seemingly innate sense of dread and discomfort. Imagine... a 36 year old husband and Father of 2 stalling his walk to a store front so that he can steel himself to hug some teenage girls.

They did not hesitate whatsoever to give me a hug and I thanked them both for being sweet, and told them to make sure to stay warm.

That event obviously touched me enough to keep me thinking about it, and to write about it here. I don't know why those girls were doing that today but they singlehandedly broke down a barrier that I didn't even know I had.