Getting Married Tomorrow! Any advice from those who've been married a while?

[Astroman]

Tomorrows the big day! Super excited, everything is falling into place after months of what felt like total mayhem. Were super in love and taking off to Vegas for a week, roadtrip yaris style!

So I want to hear from those who've been married on what they've done in their marriage to keep things going after all this time. All positive advice is welcome

And a huge thank you for those of you who helped me raise a little money for our endeavor, it really means a lot. And if anyone sees me along my trip to or in Vegas say hi!

[fnkngrv]

The best that I can give you is that no matter how hard things get to include you having to make the toughest choices for the family that includes risking the marriage to make it through is to make those tough choices. If it is meant to be then it will get better.

Always try to go to sleep at night with a light heart and not one filled with anger or worries about how this or that is causing you grief.

Never forget as the years go on that no matter how well you come to know each other you can't read your spouse's mind so don't expect them to be able to read yours. This is especially crucial as the years go on because you will both change and grow to include growing in different ways. Learn to embrace those differences and realize how they can make the marriage richer with knowledge and experiences.

Lastly, no matter how much you love your spouse and they try to convince you during a drunken night to eat the yellow snow JUST DON"T DO IT!!!

[yarisugi]

don't faint at the altar.

[nemelek]

Put the common welfare of the marriage first. Another words base your decisions on what is best for the marriage. Not what is best for you or best for her.

[WD-40]

June 4 will be 30 years for me .. its not going to be easy .. but it can be fun.
The biggest piece of advice I can offer is to understand that you can't and shouldn't try to change your spouse.. accept them as they are, and you will grow together as a whole.
The best of times are ahead of you, have a great life.

[Astroman]

Thanks everyone! This will be my last post for a couple days, headed out here shortly to get hitched

[CrankyOldMan]

"Yes dear."

[jpmck03]

Originally Posted by CrankyOldMan

"Yes dear."

^ That. Best advice ever.

[MadMax]

Originally Posted by WD-40

.. its not going to be easy .. but it can be fun.

In a nutshell...this.

[Billiam]

I've been with my wife for 26+ years. Keep the sex-life alive. Dr. Phil is a jackwagon but he says one thing to couples that I actually agree with.

"When the sex-life is good it accounts for 10% of the relationship. When the sex-life is bad is accounts for 90% of the relationship".

It absolutely true. Keep the "spark" going.....be intimate, be sexy, be creative. My wife is sexier now in her 40's than she was in her 20's and I know alot of that is my perception of her because we have such a great marriage. Oh...and the sex is way better than it was 20 years ago. Women get better and better with age!

My dad used to say "a 20 year old will put a smile on your face, but a 40 year old will make your whole body hurt".

[tk-421]

Originally Posted by fnkngrv

JUST DON"T DO IT!!!

This would've been my advice... I guess I'm too late.
Best of luck to you, sir!

[Golddeenoh]

Honesty, it is the best policy and lying to a woman will only get her mad, for she usually knows the truth and if she does not she soon will. there for be honest in everything you do and have no regrets.

Her happiness should be held above all for if she shall be happy, so shall you.

Tell her, tell her you love her every chance you get and some that you don't.

Tell her, she is beautiful no matter how sick or how old, for the beauty that brought you to her isn't just how she appears but who she is.

be strong, it is your endurance through the hard times that will bring your union closest together and prove your commitment beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Be there, Be there for her no matter how little of how you know to be.

Ask her, ask her how she feels, what she is thinking, and for her opinion.

little, those are the important thing, the ones that are seen as little but add up.

never, never stop loving her or thinking of her. for if she is in your heart and mind, you shall always be in hers.

[JumpmanYaris]

It's just a pice of paper, but don't tell her that you might get slapped

[ERA]

really listen to and trust each other. and dont keep the seat up. oh yeah, and aim (even if you really dont feel like it).

[tomato]

My advice is ... don't listen to people's advice too much ;) Seriously, what others went through in life and how they found resolution may or may not be right for you, so don't feel like other people have all the answers because they don't necessarily know any better, they just wing it most of the time.

But since you asked ... IMO, marriage is like everything else: one day at a time.

Just like any relationship, respect, balance between your needs and hers, some compromise (sometimes you give in, sometimes she does) and pick your battles if and when conflicts arise.

Congratulations and best of luck with your new life!

[SailDesign]

Will have been married(to the same long-suffering woman) for 37 years this coming January. Words of advice? Bicker, not argue. NEVER go to bed angry at each other even if YOU have to back down and sort it out in the morning.
And Yes - keep the sex life alive and kicking.
It will have its ups and downs, but it is worth the struggle in the end. We had kids early enough that we were 50 or so when they left home - still young enough to really enjoy it.

[nookandcrannycar]

Originally Posted by SailDesign

Will have been married(to the same long-suffering woman) for 37 years this coming January. Words of advice? Bicker, not argue. NEVER go to bed angry at each other even if YOU have to back down and sort it out in the morning.
And Yes - keep the sex life alive and kicking.
It will have its ups and downs, but it is worth the struggle in the end. We had kids early enough that we were 50 or so when they left home - still young enough to really enjoy it.

Bicker, not argue.....good advice. I've never been married, but in the long term relationships I've had she and I always bickered, never argued. There is a certain playfulness to bickering. You might laugh while you are bickering.

[TLyttle]

There is sure a lot of very good advice here from the older people. "Yes dear" is very good, and we (after 27 years) never "fight". we sit down and discuss EVERYTHING: finances, kids, all that stuff, there is no "I'm right" B.S. Best advice is "Listen to each other, minus the egos".

We also have date night: just the two of us, our favourite restaurant, a quiet corner, and treat each other as if we were on a date. Works wonders for the relationship, we now can afford to do this once a week...